Disowned: “Only I and the Lord Love My Children”

24/07/2005 Vahan ISHKHANYAN

Ashken, her daughter Tsovinar, and four grandchildren eat sausage,
cheese, boiled meat on days when there are funerals at the cemetery
nearby their home in the town of Aragatsavan.

It is an Armenian custom to toast the dead with a shot of vodka and
“oghormatas” (rest in peace), at the graveside. Mourners typically
bring food with them to “chase” the vodka down.

But, to Ashkhen’s good fortune, most often there is more drinking than
eating and the leftovers remain at the graveside and become a buffet
for Ashkhen’s family.

“They bury and leave, only then I go, collect and bring it,” says Ashkhen, age 74.

There are also drinks left which are either stolen by a drunkard
neighbor or Ashkhen takes and trades it for food. At home there’s
always vodka brought from the cemetery and when on rare occasions she
has guests Ashkhen says, shyly: “Sorry, I have no coffee, but I can
offer you vodka.”

Once an urbanized town of 8,000, with four factories, Aragatsavan now has about 5,500 residents and no working plants.

“The All-National Armenian Movement ate our town and made a village
from it,” says the deputy head of the village Hovsep Sahakyan

Since the end of the USSR, villagers manage to live at the expense of
farming and cattle-breeding. The richest are those who have apricot
gardens, who during the harvest season, being excited with their income
even buy cars, but in winter just sit empty.

It is, too, a village of extremely poor – especially families in which there is male leader. Like Ashkhen’s family.

Three of daughter Tsovinar’s children are “illegitimate”. Only the
oldest, 15-year old Arman, is from Tsovinar’s husband. The family
hasn’t heard from him for more than 10 years. They think he might have
died in the war in Karabakh.

She has three children, ages 4, two and four months, by a married man
from the village with whom she has had a love affair for about 10
years. She’s had four abortions, but stopped having abortions because
they cost about $30, and her lover, Vardan, stopped paying for them.
Tsovinar, age 35, also says the abortions were weighing on her
conscience.

The last time she had an abortion, Tsovinar says: “. . . the doctor
took it out and he showed me its leg and I swore I would never commit a
murder. I felt what a sin it was.”

Tsovinar has three sisters. They have disowned Tsovinar because of her
“bastard” children. She has two brothers, but they left to find work in
Russia and no one has heard from them.

Her other children have turned against Ashkhen because she does not condemn Tsovinar and accepts the grandchildren.

Other villagers, too, have turned against Ashkhen’s family.

Tsovinar has refused to allow Vardan to see her anymore. She says he
never helps with care of the children. She has taught the children to
say “I spit in my father’s face, because he doesn’t bring me candies”.

“Whenever he wanted to he came to see my daughter just for pleasure,”
says Ashkhen. “Now, the mother doesn’t allow the father to come.”

Vardan also took possession of two hectares of land that belongs to Ashkhen from which they were growing hay.

Armenianow.com