Pig-thigh illness

17/01/2007 Tigran PASKEVICHYAN

Everyone, either the people receiving guests or the people going to others’ houses, was complaining about the abundance of pig-thighs in Armenia during the Armenian Christmas and New Years’ celebration last year. They used to say “maaan, we’re sick and tired of it; we can’t eat pig anymore” and told everyone that they weren’t going to prepare the pig-thigh the next year. Some were scientifically proving how dangerous the pig-thigh is to the health, others were talking about the aesthetic impropriety, while the third group was making calculations and convincing that it’s not the best way to decorate the New Years’ table.

I don’t know whether that well-fed animal is really dangerous or not, I also don’t know whether that’s better than dolma wrapped with grape leaves; I can’t say whether it’s cheaper to prepare that meat product or spend the same amount of money on buying ready-made salads, but I know one thing for sure: the Armenians declaring that they weren’t going to prepare the pig once again prepared the easiest food for the Christmas and New Years’ celebration.

“Why?” In response to this, the people who used to complain about how dangerous the pig-thigh is last year now said that there’s no such thing as “cholesterol” and that Americans came up with that word in order to sell their drugs and then pretend as if nothing has happened when the drug expires. The people who used to talk about aesthetic impropriety claimed this year that they couldn’t celebrate the year of the pig without the pig-thigh, while economists were trying to convince that it’s better to spend the required amount and that the pig-thigh is the product that is sold the least. I don’t want to accuse my friends and acquaintances of not having principles or changing their minds; that’s not the question. The fact of the matter is that you don’t need to have a great imagination for preparing the pig-thigh. You buy the meat, stuff the grilled onions, carrots, peppers and it’s ready in no time.

That’s how life is for us Armenians. When the table is set and the pig-thigh is where it has to be on the table and we await the New Year, the president appears on our TV screens and says things, which don’t differ from our beloved pig-thigh recipe.

“Armenia was more involved in world processes during the past year. Armenian-Russian relations were marked with the Year of Armenia in Russia. There was effective political dialogue, more economic ties and a rich cultural program was launched.”

This is not the President’s New Years’ address, rather the recipe for preparing the pig-thigh with a secret code. Everything is so simple and there is no need to have an imagination; you don’t even want to notice the fact that there is no meaning to it. The abovementioned could have easily been said the following way:

“Armenia was more involved in world processes due to the Year of Armenia in Russia, during which there was effective political dialogue and economic ties.”

I haven’t seen it with my own eyes, but rumor has it that this year the people who didn’t prepare the pig-thigh asked neighbors to loan them a pig-thigh in order to not feel ashamed in front of their guests. “Can you lend me your pig [thigh] for two hours? I’m going to have guests over at my house.”
This is also similar to daily life because in his New Years’ address, the president of Armenia mentioned that the President of France paid an official visit to Armenia and the Year of Armenia in France was launched with the unforgettable concert of Charles Aznavour in Armenia and most importantly, the U.S. government’s “Millennium Challenges” program has already kicked off.
Let’s stop joking and ask ourselves what all this has to do with Armenia and the daily lives of Armenians. Who can say that the lives of Armenians have improved after the first and second “Armenia-Diaspora” conferences, or that the president pries about the third conference in his address in order to emphasize the fact that “the year 2006 was significant for Armenia-Diaspora relations”?
It is no secret to any Armenian that there are many people in Armenia who place much emphasis on Armenia-Diaspora relations each year and that those people buy the pig-thigh, which has turned into a symbol of honor and essence for a majority, with the money transfers received from the Diaspora, which in turn becomes the glory and pride of the Armenian national currency.

By analyzing the president’s address, we can come to the conclusion that the success of Armenia last year consists of the following:

a. celebration of anniversaries
b. the year of Armenian culture in this or that country
c. the enormous project implemented by the U.S.
d. the promises of the Diaspora

By analyzing the president’s address, we can also come to the conclusion that 2007 will be the year for implementing the projects that haven’t been implemented last year, the year before that and during the past six years before that, including formation of the competitive field, effectiveness of the judicial system and the fight against corruption.

That’s great, but who’s going to do that when Armenia is getting ready for parliamentary elections which, according to the president, will take place “in a very decent manner”? But the only thing we Armenians picture as decent for the New Year is the pig-thigh stuffed with grilled onions, carrots, spices-in general, nothing having to do with art or creations.