“Seeing The Apricot Made My Fear Go Away”

25/07/2005 Artak BSHTIKYAN

I understood. No, better yet, I had understood but now I understood
better. I felt relaxed. The thing is that setting yourself free from
being afraid is hard to do. As the Armenian saying goes, “One gets
afraid from the look of it.” But no, one doesn’t get afraid just by
looking. What about feelings? Parallel to that, when you find the basis
of what you have seen and felt, you better turn and run. Well, I turned
and ran. I will tell you more in detail.
Saroyan once said that the one thing that he has loved the most was
freedom. Of course, he is not the only one, but when he says it, it is
different. It is impressive. After all, it’s Saroyan, especially the
fact that he has come from a country where people tell legends about
that freedom. But it is not all based on just telling stories.
I am going to tell a story now too. I have also come from a country
where legends are told about freedom. They call that country the
homeland of human rights. I will get back to the so-called human rights
and the so-called democracy (in Armenian zhoghovrdavarutyun). The
fundamental right for a human being is, for example, the freedom of
speech. This has to do with what man wants and needs. But as for what
one does not like and likes does not fit in the framework of freedom of
speech. This is due to the fact that sometimes there may be things that
you do not like or want which are out of the whole “Politically
correct” idea. In that case, you will be in a lot of trouble. Let me
try to explain.
Should I continue with the examples? Let’s move on then. If, for
example, the Greeks decide that they don’t want to have Europe putting
a ban on their 3,000 year old cuisine because that does not correspond
to what Brussels considers normal (the people there always eat the
appetizers with pleasure), then they will be looked at as nationalist
and that is an extreme crime in the countries where there are freedom,
democracy and human rights. If a French living in France says that his
ancestors were French and that he is proud to be French, he is
immediately named a “Fascist”. If that same French dared to say that he
wanted his child to not marry someone from Senegal, Algeria, Morocco,
or Nigeria, but rather a French, then he would be called a “racist”. I
must add that this is an extremely big crime.
If it ever crosses your mind to stand up and say that you are against
homosexuality and that you do not want the media brainwashing you 24
hours a day, 365 days a year that homosexuality is considered a step
for progress in society, then you will be considered old-fashioned and
intolerant. I must say that intolerance is considered a crime in free
and democratic countries. Another thing about homosexuals-just this and
then we are through with this topic. I never really understood why they
organize demonstrations to show how different they are from others in
democratic and liberal countries? I have never seen non-homosexuals (I
wanted to say normal people but then I remembered that I might be
considered old-fashioned or intolerant) organize demonstrations to show
that they are not homosexual.
If you make an error and say that you do not like, or you do not want
for your child to become one of the millions of uneducated people
(literally speaking)-since school teachers not only teach children to
read and write, but also visual art), then you will be considered as
someone who disrupts the educational process.
Go ahead, make a mistake by saying that you do not want the doctor, who
cures hand pains, to tell you that he is a specialist in right hands
when really it is your left hand that hurts and you have to go to
another doctor (the doctor has to tell you which doctor to go to
because you can not find a doctor who can help you with your left
hand). Of course, he will do the treatment after you pay him. Go ahead
and say that you do not want the doctor to give you a two page
prescription of drugs for curing catarrh, but rather that you can cure
the sickness by drinking tea with lemon. Suddenly, you become a
traditional healer.
So, once upon a time there were countries that had freedom, democracy
and human rights. Throughou time, these countries become prosperous,
but now the scientific word for that is consumer societies. Basically,
the main goal is consuming. We all move toward the maximal consumption.
Now, there is another slogan: “Consumers everywhere: Unite!” We call
this globalization. However, we can only unite for consumption
purposes. Other types of social events are considered very short
lasting, they make way for crimes and disrupt the whole process. The
process is called brainwashing, or as the people say, retardation.
First, the flaws in freedom are put up for discussion. You can live
wherever you want, wear whatever you want and eat whatever you like.
Now comes the tricky part. Since you are going to wear what everyone
wears, then you will eat whatever is out there too. For example, if
stores decide that you will no longer be eating normal chicken but
rather genetically tested chicken, then we will all run for that
chicken. The second stage, which is the most horrible, a person’s
freedom is played around with. It all starts in school. Do you remember
the police phone number story mentioned earlier on? The purpose is to
cut the individual from his roots, including family, homeland and the
most important-nationality.
All methods are used-school, television, radio, newspaper, opinions of
society and fake surveys. Seeing your grandparents once a year for
Christmas is enough. After all, that is an obligation. Uncle, aunts are
all in the past. The parents, brothers and sisters (while they are
living under one roof), have contact with each other, then that becomes
once a month….they can call each other 15 days before and make plans
for going out for coffee. There is another way for inviting family
members to dinner. The homeland is an outdated relic which
characterizes the old-fashioned, barbarous tribes. The homeland is a
world of consumption.
Nationality is the worse enemy for free and democratic countries. The
thing is that it is quite possible that the oil prepared by people of
Cyprus may not be accepted in other countries. Those people are used to
their flawless olive oil. That is why French children are taught at a
young age that they are all the same, that their ancestors were from
Gaghia. The children in the classroom have black, white, yellow, red
color, squinting eyes. Could someone from Gaghia have squinting eyes?
Finally, the roots get cut and now it is called personal freedom.
Otherwise, if there are parents, relatives, neighbors and compatriots,
they would say that it is nerve-wrecking to see their children watching
television the whole day, that one must have three to five television
sets in his home (even in the bathroom). It is pointless. Don’t buy
that many television sets and then society as a whole will understand
the concept of just having one television set for all. This just goes
against the “All for consumption” slogan. If that happens, who will buy
the products put up for sale? The third flaw has to do with
brainwashing. This is the final stage. It is a stage of placing
restrictions on the individual. Everything is shown through
signs-roads, the mind, speech and sexual relations. One does not feel
the need to think. Everything is shown. Better yet, one needs to think,
but he does not need to think hard, or search long for something. Next
thing you know he might find himself in a situation where he realizes
that people are making a fool out of him. That is not foreseen. This is
called creating ways for an easier life. Of course, there need to be
conditions. They might put a sign that requires going 20 kilometers
from point A to point B instead of 10 kilometers. This will be great
because now people will have to pay more for fuel. Then there will be
three stores on the 10 kilometer road and 5-6 on the 20 kilometer one.
As a result of all of this, we turn into an army of tolerant consumers
with no family, no homeland, anti-nationalist, always smiling (it is
good to smile but not continuously, for no reason and fake, and
retarded). An army so large and efficient in the world that will be
able to wipe away anything that comes in its way.
I was scared that I would be fooled. Not me. I would never be fooled
again because if I got fooled, I would not see, feel and “understand”
it all. I was scared for my children. I am not that strong to overcome
the “easy life”. I was afraid that one day my children would tolerate
that child murderer who kills a child just because his father did not
buy him a bicycle when he was young. I got afraid that they might take
my child away from me someday just because I had forbidden him to do
something and screamed at him, or that my neighbor had called the
police to say that I was infringing my child’s rights. I was afraid
that I could not convince my boys that cocaine is a bad thing, that
statistics show that children in France over the age of 13 have already
tried cocaine and society, with all its structures (including
governmental), is going against the legalization of cocaine. I was
afraid that maybe one day my children will think that it is not
important to be Armenian and consider themselves as Armenians just by
origin.
I was afraid that they might take medicine that hurt them instead of
curing them in case they get a cold. But they have to take that
medicine judging from the fact that everybody takes it. Besides, it is
considered old-fashioned and a shame to get cured by drinking the tea
with jam prepared by your grandmother. Finally, I was afraid that there
would come a day when I would sit with my children at the dinner table
and we would have disputes and what’s worse-I would finish my meal by
myself because we could not understand each other. They are going to
talk in a foreign language with me, they will be tolerant, they will
understand what freedom, democracy and human rights mean, they will
consider cocaine and homosexuality as normal, they will not know who
their grandparents are and need a guide to go from one room to the
other, smile for no reason, throw a kiss in the air to strangers or
acquaintances instead of showing real affection. Finally, they will be
free individuals who are used to the “easy life”. As for me, I will be
considered intolerant, old-fashioned, someone who judges right from
wrong, someone who wants a Homeland (that can not be bought, so it is
useless to think about it), family and a hearth, a Fascist who accepts
his nationality, a racist who feels Armenian and is forced to talk
Armenian with his children, someone who laughs whole-heartedly when it
is time to laugh (this is the kind of behavior of barbarous tribes),
someone who gets teary-eyed during sad times and gets emotional just by
hearing the sound of his children kissing him, and an old-fashioned
father who is willing to do anything to make their lives easier and
protect them from any harm.
Yes, I was afraid, but yesterday my fear went away. I had gone to the
market to buy some apricots. Seeing the apricot made me forget about
all my fears. It’s a good thing my children like apricots.