It turns out that there have been a lot of reasons for Armenians to get nervous during the last twenty years. As we know, nerve cells are never recovered. This means that Armenians have lost billions of nerve cells as a result of the stress of the dark years, missing their relatives living abroad, a lot of senseless elections, losing their money in banks, Tigran Urikhanyan, etc. We may assume that this was a small hint of our new history. So what is happening today and what is making Armenians nervous?
We can say that everything makes Armenians nervous. But let’s try to analyze it by going further in detail. For instance let’s take advertisements. Taking into consideration that TV companies can’t survive without the advertisement business, I don’t understand on the basis of what law TV advertisements can last more than five minutes or how news broadcasts can be interrupted. In this case I can make two assumptions. Either the head of the radio and TV commission, Mr. Amalyan doesn’t watch TV at all (probably he doesn’t have a TV set) or doesn’t have clocks to follow how long these advertisements last. In both cases it is easy to solve this problem by giving him a TV set and watches as presents. These presents can’t be considered as bribe because these things may help him out.
As for drivers, of course they get nervous because minibus drivers do everything and are ready to drive over ten people a day only to get the money their chiefs take from them every day. Traffic police also lose a lot of nerves because after the amendment of the traffic code they take over 2000 dram bribe each time, when before they used to take 500 (probably the first impact that the gas price increase made was this change of traffic bribe).
As for singers and actors, they get nervous due to different kinds of phone melodies that they have to hear during their performance. And very often the normal audience can’t understand whether this music comes from the stage or from the pocket of the idiot sitting next to them. But besides that a lot of people get frustrated when they hear Armenian singers with their European appearance singing songs that sound too foreign.
As for the ones that are building the elite buildings, they get nervous as soon as they hear the name “Buzand street”. As for Artashes Tumanyan, he gets nervous when he hears the names of the people building the elite buildings. Some “small potatoes” get nervous when they see how Vahan Babayan found a good place for him, as for the former “small potatoes”, they get nervous when passing near the president’s office because they couldn’t become president.
Politicians get nervous the most. Bush’s “hairdresser” came and they are afraid that the boss of “this hairdresser” will come here too. In this case Vardan Oskanyan and Vardan Khachatryan will have to go to meet the “chief hairdresser” of Bush, Condoleezza Rice, who, as it is said, “shaves everyone that she meets”. If you don’t believe me you can ask Evans. As for the opposition, they are nervous because no one backs them, and if they even back them, they back only one of them, for instance Raffi Hovhannisyan. That is why Geghamyan is nervous and organizes press conferences to demonstrate that he is better than Raffi Hovhannisyan. As for the ARF, they get nervous and when they get nervous this means that they are already getting old. As for the republicans, they worry about their places in the government. The ones that are going to found parties get nervous when they see the conditions of Artashes Tumanyan (note that this situation is very bad). In other words there will be lack of nerve medicines in Armenia very soon. In spite of this if we take into account that I am optimist we may find other medicines for this too. For instance we can rest, relax, become a pensioner and bring up our grandchildren. Besides that doctors say that the 21st century is not a century of nerve sicknesses, but of allergic sicknesses. So I think Armenians will calm down very soon… But anyway taking into account that we may also catch allergies I think we shouldn’t detest each other.